When does dating turn into a relationship

Posted by / 18-Jul-2017 09:33

The reality was that Mum had become used to me doing things for her, so it was me she relied on.

I think she felt more secure when I was managing the situation.

We argued our way through this mess until circumstances changed.

On three occasions, I was telephoned by Mum's neighbour after she wandered into their house in a bewildered state.

My sister (or this is how it felt) wanted to wait until a crisis occurred before discussing the problem.

It might have been all right if it was she who then dealt with the crisis, but it always seemed to be me who was left to pick up the pieces. There are 700,000 people in the UK suffering from dementia, a statistic that will rise to 1.7million by 2051 - placing the burden of decision-making on the adult offspring of sufferers more than ever before.

When it comes to two or more siblings trying to care for elderly parents - and the latest research shows that one in five adults regularly provides that kind of care and assistance - you often end up with a disastrous family crisis.

We veered from spitting criticisms at each other to feeling ashamed and remorseful and trying to patch up our wounded relationship.

We knew from the start that, fiercely independent, she wasn't going to take having carers in her home lying down.

We started with a 'voluntary befriending service' and then moved swiftly through the care staff of two private agencies, each of whom spent several hours a day with Mum.

My sister accused me of trying to be her therapist and she didn't want one, she said.

At times, I got cross and went into big sister mode and freely admit that I became superior with her.

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When, in recent years, she started to feel fearful about her memory loss, I think I became fearful alongside her, while I believe my sister went into denial.