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Although she will disagree with me, part of her deep down did wish to experience the classic Libyan courtship and to wed to a countryman.
My sister, who is feisty, independent and career minded, at first did attempt many ways of meeting single eligible Arab men in London.
When they met, respect, affection and love were planted and within days, they announced their engagement. I never thought my sister would return to Libya to set up her own home or that we would all have to go back to meet a future brother-in-law.
The greatest surprise of all was that my sister, with my mother’s encouragement and incredible excitement - that at last one of her two very stubborn daughters was finally getting hitched in the way she had hoped for and prayed for years - agreed to have the whole shebang of a big traditional Tripolitanian wedding - beginning with the model proposal.
It is normal if he has specific wishes or desirable qualities in the girl he would like to meet.
For instance, he may want her to be wearing the hijab or that she of of a certain age or look.
Thus armed with this information, the mother, sisters and the aunties will begin the search in earnest.
He was truly willing to meet and marry the right girl.Unfortunately, when it is just the ladies involved, there is a tremendous pressure on the girls to appear just right for the picking and that they be young, pretty, healthy, shy, modest and innocent.This means they should not dress too provocatively in an all-female setting and that they don’t do something stupid, like dancing too wildly, lest they be branded unruly, untamed and so unsuitable.She woke up on the telling side of the bed and agreed to exchange her mobile number.To cut a long story short, when they spoke, she realized they had very much in common and agreed to see him.
In a culture where romantic relationships outside wedlock are heavily frowned upon and where it is taboo to live with someone other than your husband, marriage is the only acceptable route to a relationship and to leave your father’s house to create one of your own.